Tuesday, February 7, 2012

My Plans Vs Reality

Maybe you've heard?  We leave in less than 3 DAYS for Ethiopia to finally, finally, finally bring home our son, Taz's older birth brother.  It's been a long, hard journey and for some reason I feel this unrealistic desire to have everything just right.  And then life and reality came and smacked me upside my head.  Rude!

My plan:  Be super efficient, get bags packed early and the house spotlessly clean so our departure Friday and subsequent arrival home (as a family of 7) would be seamless... delusional much?

Reality:  Zoom has the stomach flu.  The bad kind where he is throwing up/dry heaving every hour.  Why, oh why did I have to talk about gagging?  This has done nothing but paralyzed me into listlessness, hiking back up my mountain of fear and wondering if this is soon to spread to the rest of us, causing overzealous TSA personnel to ban us from planes.  I'm totally willing to board rocking the stomach flu, but Mr. T tells me they won't allow it.  Some driddle about causing an outbreak or fellow passenger's safety.  Apparently he saw someone escorted off their flight in London a few weeks ago for such an offense.  Whatev! Word on the street has it that a little dosing of phenergen will get me on that plane.

My plan: In preparation for MB joining our family, I've been praying that I would learn to clothe myself with compassion (a parenting skill I don't excel at).

Reality:  Zoom woke yesterday morn with the stomach flu.  I was quite certain he was suffering from a mild cold and could easily brave the school day.  Despite his protests, I made him get dressed and even drove him to school. When he started crying in the parking lot about his stomach hurting, I informed him (in a less than compassionate way) that this meant he was spending all day in his bed.  No movies.  No games.  No fun.

MB - welcome to our family.  If you're wondering where your new mom's heart is, you can find it in the deep freeze next to the butterball turkey.

My plan:  Get the oil changed, books checked out, lists organized, travel plans perfected, donations sorted and generally rock the awesomeness charts.

Reality:  Though I'm thankful I don't have the stomach flu (yet), I do have a head cold from the devil.  I've been popping enough Sudafed to put me on the meth-makers watch list, but so far it hasn't helped.  Combine this with my general fear that the flu will prevent us from going, and I have been a big ol' lazy and not got half the things done I wanted to.

My plan:  Have everything perfect, prepared as much as humanly possible, to give our boy the "perfect" start to our family

Reality:  If we make it to Ethiopia alive this weekend, no matter what shape we or our house is in, we're going to call that a big fat success.  MB - welcome to our perfectly flawed family.  Could you pass the puke bucket?


  1. Leave with a spotless clean house? What were you thinking - just wait for Erin to work her magic!

  2. And that's why we all need a healthy dose of Grace every now and again! Your mother's heart does NOT belong in the freezer. I don't "know" you in real life, but I've read enough of your blog to know that your mother heart is full of love for your growing crew. You wouldn't have moved heaven and earth to bring MB home (in an ethical fashion!) if that wasn't the case. Hang in there! (If you start buying bulk anhydrous ammonia, then don't be surprised if the DEA shows up at your door.)

    1. Thanks Kim. However, your knowledge of meth production is scaring me just a little bit :)

  3. Amen, sister. We all need a huge dose of grace...whether we're headed to Ethiopia to bring home a son, or just getting up and living each morning. Praying you don't get sick and everyone is well upon departure (or sooner!).

  4. I like what Kim said. :) Praying for God's covering--every second, every detail.

  5. love you so much right now. it'll be amazing

  6. AWWWW! A pleasant side effect of phenergen? You will sleep like a baby for at least 12 hours! I wish and pray for smooth sailing these last couple of days before you hit the skies!

  7. the compassion part is my favorite. reminds me of me (hopefully a lot of other moms, too ?) when i have what seems like a lengthy and urgent to do list. in terms of non perfection and actual flaws, have you already seen this ? http://jenhatmaker.com/blog/2011/09/26/fake-family

  8. i felt much the same way about our second trip: as long as i made it on that plane, it was a win.

    praying for your sanity and your health. T-minus two days!!