Tuesday, May 22, 2012

My Heart Is Broken


MB lived in an orphanage for two years before he joined our family.  For two YEARS, he was without a parent or a sibling or really anybody who thought him most precious.  But in those two years he did have someone.  He had his best friend, the closest thing to a brother he had known in years.  Let's call him Abe.  We had the privilege of meeting Abe on several occasions and everyone in the place told us that MB and Abe had always been best friends.  Unfortunately, these two boys probably saw more kids come and go from this place than any other boys.  My heart breaks for every. single. farewell. ceremony these boys had to sit through.

Of late, I've been on a rather fruitless search to find Abe's family in hopes of reuniting the boys.  Abe is the only person MB talks about missing.  When he plays with his friends at school, he often comes home and talks about missing Abe.  The nannies told us Abe had a family.  Abe told us he had a family.  This morning Mr. T predicted a heartbreaking outcome and launched a preemptive warning "honey, we can't adopt him."  "I know, I know" was my very obvious, very logical response.  Then I got the call from the case worker.  She knew exactly who I was looking for.  And Abe ... does not have a family.  For over two years he has waited.  He's a healthy, smart as a whip little boy.  He has a great relationship with the nannies and other children, is "an obedient child and assists the nannies with the younger children."  He likes to jump rope, color, play with play dough and learn new things.  His only special need?  He merely had the misfortune of turning 8 years-old.

Did you read Kristen's article from last week about mommy wars?  (if not, you should).  Let's quit beating each other up about something as senseless as boobies and breast milk and lock our mommy and daddy arms together and fight for the motherless child.  Let's fight for boys like Abe.  Might you be his new mom or dad?  Might you know someone who could?  I would love to tell you more about Abe if you might be interested.  He's on the waiting child list of an ethical and well respected agency.  I would especially love it if you lived in the Midwest and these boys could keep in regular contact, but I won't make that a prerequisite to talking to you ;-)

When we adopted Taz, there was a little boy in the orphanage who stole my heart and took my breath away.  His name is Tomas and he now has the most gorgeous family on the planet.  Abe reminded me so much of Tomas.  Abe deserves a family, beautiful or not, perfect or flawed.  He does not deserve to wait any longer.  Will you pretty pretty please help me advocate for Abe?

Speaking of advocating ... you should go check out the silent auction my friend Megan is holding for Sweet Naomi.  There are some pretty sweet items on there, lots of Africa stuff, books, bags, art and more.  Because all money goes to such a great cause, I won't even be mad if you bid against me on some items but stay the crap away from the cute green Africa shirt, k?


p.s.  I don't think I can show you Abe's picture, but here's his best friend the last day they were together.  Now picture a little boy (almost as darling) a few inches taller wearing a similar traditional costume for his very own farewell ceremony.  Abe deserves his own farewell ceremony ...


(and yes, I know this belongs in the category of Change The World Wednesday, but I could not wait another day.  Lord please, may someone say yes to sweet Abe)


              

24 comments:

  1. This made me cry for this poor little guy. I wish we could do something.

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  2. awwww :( how is it when John and i are ready to jump back in the adoption craziness and seeking a WC there are so many advocates out there. wow.
    We are waiting to be matched with a little girl we recently saw but theres a chance she may be matched before our HS is redone. Could you send me information about Abe? autumnperkins@gmail.com
    We are only reviewing WC over 5.... as you can imagine- there are MANY!

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    1. Autumn,

      I *might* be praying this little girl gets matched soon :) I just emailed you.

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  3. What agency is advocating for Abe currently? Holt?

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  4. I love this your heart for this, Cap't. I'm passing this along. There will be someone out there!

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  5. What country and what agency? I will help spread the word! I am currently 5 months pregnant but, if I wasn't we'd be seriously interested too!
    Ashlee

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    1. Agency is CHSFS and country is Ethiopia.

      If we hadn't only been home 3 months and still adjusting ...

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  6. Dammit! You had to bring in Tomas. ;) What age? What agency? I will find someone (after I beg my husband). ;)

    Love your heart.

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    1. Tesi - He seriously reminded me so much of Tomas. The way he was sort of "the man in charge" but still super sweet and amazing with the younger kids - totally reminded me of Tomas.

      Age - turned 8 in March. Hmmm, who does that sound like?
      Agency - CHSFS.

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  7. Ohhhh...my heart is breaking now, too. I just can't get my hubby to come around to a fourth child (pray for that miracle!). I can always pray, though, for these children! I will pray for Abe as well as Naomi.

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  8. Oh no. I'm so sorry that this is what you discovered. I was so hoping that you'd find out that he and his family were living close by! Praying that he will have a forever family VERY soon...

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    1. I know Lori - it sucks! But thank you so much for helping me find the person who did at least have the answers, however unpleasant those answers were...

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  9. Oh you are so sweet and innocent... the way you just happened to notice he is like Tomas.... and mentioned it where Tomas' Mom would see it... what a coincidence.
    I wish we were the ones - but we so clearly are not. I have been thinking for two days about who I know who needs an 8-yr-old (what a strange sentence)

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    1. Oh Semi - you saw right through my slyness. No need to unveil it to the world though ;-) But, it was all true. He did so much remind me of Tomas.

      Did you happen to think of anyone who needs an 8-yr-old?

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  10. Please contact me..mygeurts@yahoo.com. We are considering adoption..would like to speak privately. Thanks, Amy :)

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    1. Amy - I sent you an email. Thank you for considering ...

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  11. It's amazing how you're advocating for him. I was seriously praying yesterday that God would provide a child in need (as in a waiting child who was less likely to be adopted) if He was really wanting us to adopt. I'm not trying to say that we're his family, but I love how that works. In addition to that, Ryan read your blog and emailed me about it and before I knew it, I had emailed him about Abe. And I've had 2 other friends email me specifically about this little boy. Again, I'm not saying we ARE his family, but I am saying that I love how it works to care for the orphans.

    searching and praying,
    tamara b

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    1. I know God loves the fatherless. Sometimes we don't understand (and quite honestly get quite mad at the situation), but our God is good. Thank you for your heart T and, however it works out, I pray that A does not wait much longer.

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  12. Thanks for posting Shonda...I will spread the word too. Thank you for advocating for him.

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  13. i'm joining in on spreading the word, and also praying. (and tamara b, keep us posted!)

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  14. checking in to see who else may be interested in him. Hes adorable :) Thanks for getting in touch. Tamara- keep us posted...my husband and i are so conflicted about which older child we should request....its so gut-wrenching this time around.

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  15. Hi! I would love to learn more information on "Abe." We have been waiting to be matched for over 15+ months. Although the agency we are working with does not think adopting out of birth order is a good idea.....I would love to know more information on Abe.
    Can I please have your email address. I would feel most comfortable talking about this in a more private way.
    Thank you so much!!!
    Natalie
    ps- we live in the MidWest and our family is ALWAYS game for road trips ;)

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    1. Natalie,

      Thank you for your response. I'm not smart enough to know how to email you back directly from this comment, but my email address is shonda@Godwilladd.com. Look forward to talking to you!

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  16. this rocks. this thread rocks. love you.

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